


Gametrapped

by Lolara



Category: Hiveswap, Homestuck, Homestuck Epilogues
Genre: Alternate Universe, Dirk Needs help, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, very angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2020-09-28 22:43:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20433689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lolara/pseuds/Lolara
Summary: Look Joey I’m not going to spoil my surprise for you here.You aren’t quite ready yet, but I will say this.Even though we are not connected by blood, I see a lot of potential in you.We will meet again soonThough you may not be “you” exactly.





	1. Heart and Mind meet

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so please be kind. Also, I'm not the best at writing character dialogue like the actual writers of homestuck so it might not have exactly the same feel to it, but I'll try my best.
> 
> constructive criticism on writing is welcome.
> 
> I'm leaving some relationships out of the tags, because I do want to leave some ambiguity with who will end up with who at the end. the ones that are forever and unchanging are listed already.

Wait……

Where Am I?

Hello?........

Mom?.........

Jude?........

…….Dad?

It’s soo dark in here I can’t see anything

Have you considered using that trusty flashlight of yours?

No…..Wait what?

You know, the flashlight. Your strife weapon.

……..

You used it to fight all those freaky monsters that appeared in your house….

Or mansion.

You also used it when you got house switched with the troll equivalent of me.

Kind of like the tv show Wife Swap.

Only instead of wives it’s humans and aliens.

Under aged humans and aliens.

And no one wants to kill themselves before they swap back.

What kind of swap would we call this?

A House Swap?

Buddy Swap?

Morail Swap?

……….I don’t know how to respond to any of that.

I guess first I’d like to say I don’t even live in a mansion; it’s more of a manor.

Well excuse me miss smarty pants, I’m trying to get back in touch with normal and level minded speech

Do you have any Idea how hard it is to be your ultimate self with an infinite amount of knowledge concerning all the timelines your other selves have existed in, and having to revert back to a pattern of speech that is somewhat coherent to those of a much simpler mind and time?

I didn’t think that the differences between a “manor” and “mansion” really mattered to someone who’s only 14 years old.

I’m trying to be polite here

…………………….Ok I need to process all this info a step at a time so let me get back to you on that question

So I’m going to continue listing the amount of things I don’t know of that you have already mentioned.

First, we’ve already covered my house being a manor

Second, I don’t even have a strife weapon is.

If I did, I wouldn’t make it a flashlight.

Third, I’ve never had the pleasure to meet these “monsters” you mentioned, and I remain clueless to the rest of your ramblings.

Oh….I’m sorry I forgot I’m still in Earth Cs Universe by your point of view.

………….

Wait a second……

How do you even exist in our universe?

I’m going to stop you right there and remind you that I have no idea what you are going on about

I guess I’m going to have to get a bit invasive here, don’t worry you won’t feel a thing.

EW, stop that, now your just being creepy.

………Holy shit

Oh my ME, that little slut actually knocked her up in this universe, TWICE?

I knew Jake was a dumb little tramp, but holy fuck this takes the cake to another level.

This cake is so fucking tall now it’s practically a wedding cake.

Wow, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?

I’m not even going to try to understand how A. Claire even exists here this is already surprise enough. (What? you thought I was going to reveal the mother’s first name here? That would take all the fun out of it. I’m still in charge of this shitshow)

Ok, you know that thing your doing right now.

Talking about things that I told you I have no knowledge of.

It would be great if you could stop doing that.

Hang on a second Joey; I’m currently processing how it is I could’ve fallen for such a disappointment of a man like your father.

My father? What? I never even knew my father

No one knows who my father is.

Well, except for mom, but she’s gone now.

So how the heck do you know?

Who are you anyway?

How do you know my name?

Am I being pranked right now?

Ok I’m done processing

Look Joey I’m not going to spoil my surprise for you here.

You aren’t quite ready yet, but I will say this.

Even though we are not connected by blood, I see a lot of potential in you.

We will meet again soon

Though you may not be “you” exactly.

Oh and before I go, just remember that it is ok to not completely “like” only boys, you can like any gender you want.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go talk to the “other” Joey.

What do you me-

Joey, wake up ==>


	2. Not my father

**Joey, wake up ==>**

You jolt awake in the comfort of your own bed. The early morning sun greets you through the blinds of the window, as well as a mild headache. What the heck was that?

Your name is Joey Claire. You’re an aspiring veterinarian, expert puzzle solver, and future ballet tap dancer, and you need take a moment to process that weird dream you just had. Was it a dream? It felt way too real and vivid to be just a dream. 

Maybe you should consider the possibility of needing to see a doctor soon. The stresses of having to be the adult of the house ever since mom died probably contributes to your slow decent into insanity. Of course it hasn’t been all on you. Those lovely Carapacian members of the CWPS have made sure you and Jude live comfortably in the home you were born in. They always send one member to check on you every couple of hours, and to do housework and cook food for the both of you. However, the lack of a parental figure still weighs in on you. 

**>Look at Mom’s picture**

You miss your mother. Though you were only 4 years old when you lost her, you still could remember almost every detail of her. You do have pictures of her all over the house to remind you what she looks like, but just remembering appearances doesn’t mean anything. No, it’s her warmth, kindness, and understanding heart that are truly worth remembering. She truly was the picture of grace and beauty. Not only that, but also was one of the greatest dancers in the world. With fame rivaling that of even the creators of the universe. It still surprises you that she never really married.

Your thoughts have now wandered to a place you never enjoy visiting. Thoughts of….your father. Honestly, calling him a father seems to be a bit too much. He’s more like, “the guy who impregnated your mom” kind of description. You don’t even know what he looks like. You recall Mom at one point used words like “charming” and “handsome” but she never really went into much detail other than that. It was also never really explained why he was never around. Either your memories aren’t as good as you think, or maybe Mom was just vague when it came to the identity of your biological paternal creator. Either way it’s not much to go by.

Not that you even really care to know. Why would you want to know who your father is? He obviously never cared enough about his family to at least visit, so why should you care? If he doesn’t want the make the effort to know you, then you won’t make the effort to know him. He could be dead for all you know. If that’s the case, questioning who he is wouldn’t make any difference.

**>Stop thinking about your “not” father**

You have more pressing matters to attend to. You…….you actually don’t quite remember what those matters were. What was that dream about again? You can’t remember for some reason. That seems strange.

Oh well, it must not have been important if you forgot about it so easily. Enough lazing about Joey Claire, it’s time to start your day.

**>Start your day**

You quickly slip out of your pajamas an in to your normal attire. You decide to wear your favorite shirt that Mom made for you. It matches the mural on the ceiling that she had also painted for you. Wearing that shirt always makes you feel like Mom is nearby, rooting for you and giving small words of encouragement. “You’re doing great Joey, keep it up.” Thank you Mom.

You think about examining everything in your bedroom from top to bottom, but then you decide against it. You know your own bedroom, why the heck would you do such a thing? What is this, some kind of narrative where you have to describe everything in your room to a third party? No, we live in reality, where no sane person would drop whatever they are doing and pick up or click on anything and everything in a single room. Besides, your stomach is currently demanding it be filled with some breakfast, and you know better than to not give in to your own body’s demands. You wonder if one of the custodians are already cooking breakfast.

When you open the door to your bedroom, you are greeted with the smell of pancakes. Well, you guess that answers that question. You saunter down the stairs and into the living room.

**>Say good morning to Tesseract**

Good old Tesseract. He’s the closest thing to a father you’ve ever had. He was there when you lost mom, he always greets you after school, he sleeps in your bed when you have nightmares, and gives you unconditional love and affection. Yeah, who needs a father when you have Tesseract to fill the role? Not you, that’s for sure. Sure he’s not the best conversationalist, but he does listen. 

You then make your way the kitchen, to find the custodian cooking the aforementioned pancakes.

JOEY: um, goodmorning

The social worker looks at you with a cheerful look, but says nothing. It is never the same custodian every day. It’s always someone different every hour so you never really ever got the chance to form a friendship with any of them. They also aren’t very…. conversational. Of course, you hold no resentment against them or anything like that, you are just unsure of how to establish a bond with someone who is short in speech is all.

You suddenly hear thunderous stomping around upstairs. You have drawn 2 possible conclusions. Either Jude is awake and has set the house on fire, or Jude is coming to show you the fruits of his labor with his hunt for your paternal parent. He honestly believes there is some conspiracy behind your father not being around and insists on discovering said conspiracy, plus the identity of the man. You’ve told him over and over again to give up on such an endeavor, but whenever Jude sets his mind on a goal, he sticks with it. You do envy him in that respect though, as well as many others you can think of. Not that you would ever tell him that. At this point you’ve given on trying to persuade him to give up the search. You’ve decided to just play along and be supportive. Maybe it’s just his way of coping.

You take a seat at the kitchen table as the worker sits a plate of pancakes down in front of you.

JUDE: JOOOEEEY!! A MINDBOGOLING REVELATION IS IN OUR MIDST!!!  
JOEY: Umm, Ok You don’t have to yell.  
JUDE: OH SORRY, CAN’T CONTROL MYSELF WHEN DISCOVERIES ARE MADE.  
JOEY: Well, let’s hope it’s more plausible than our father being a troll or consort.   
JUDE: THOSE THEORIES HAVE BEEN DISMISSED.   
JUDE: NEW EVIDENCE HAS APPEARED.   
JOEY: Alright, let’s hear it.   
JUDE: IT HAS COME TO MY ATTENTION THAT OUR FATHER.   
JUDE: WHOM WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT   
JUDE: IS IN FACT ONE OF THE CREATORS OF OUR CURRENT UNIVERSE

A Troll being your father is starting to look more and more convincing.

JOEY: Ok….What evidence do you have to support that theory?  
JUDE: I’VE DONE SOME DIGGING INTO MOTHER’S PAST.  
JUDE: HAD TO LOOK INTO SOME OF HER OLD DIARIES AND JOURNALS  
JOEY: Ugh, Jude you know those are private.  
JOEY: I told you mom didn’t want us to get into her stuff until we were of age.  
JUDE: CURRENTLY AWARE OF THAT FACT.  
JUDE: DID NOT TOUCH THE BOX THAT SAID “DO NOT OPEN UNTIL AGE 18”  
JOEY: That’s not the point!  
JUDE: NO TIME FOR READING INTO PAST MISTAKES.  
JUDE: MUST CONTINUE ONWARD.  
JUDE: I HAVE STUMBLED ACROSS A PICTURE OF OUR MOTHER FROM HER DANCING YEARS  
JUDE: IT HAD HER SIGNITURE ON THE SIDE WITH A NOTE  
JUDE: IT WOULD SEEM THAT SHE AT ONE POINT WAS AQUAINTED WITH CREATOR JAKE ENGLISH  
JOEY: That’s ridiculous Jude.

You did not have time to further debunk his theory. Jude decided to interrupt you by shoving a picture into your face.

It was Mom.

It wasn’t like any other picture you had of her (you only had a total of 3) this one was different. She was dressed elegantly. Her dress was pure white with extravagant embroidery around the neck, her face radiating confidence and style. The note on the picture reads.

“To Jake, my biggest fan

-Claire”

Well this certainly raised some questions. Of course, none of them related to the identity of your father. Nope, not one bit. Why would such questions even arise in your mind? They wouldn’t, you know better than that.

JOEY: Jude, this doesn’t really mean anything.  
JOEY: First off, how do we even know this is Mr. English, it doesn’t even say his last name.  
JOEY: Jake is not an uncommon name.  
JOEY: Secondly, if it is the same Jake, that still doesn’t exactly prove that he is our father  
JOEY: Like, what if he was just a fan of her; Mom did have a lot of male fans.  
JOEY: If our father was a fan, then he could be anyone.

You sometimes despise being right all the time. It’s a curse really. You shouldn’t feel a sense of accomplishment at making your brother look foolish, but you just can’t help it. How can you? He can be such a dork sometimes.

JUDE: YOU MAKE A COMPELLING ARGUMENT JOEY.  
JUDE: HOWEVER, UPON FURTHER RESEARCH THROUGH MOTHER’S OLD NOTES.  
JUDE: IT HAS BEEN NOTED THAT SHE DID NOT SIGN AUTOGRAPHS FOR JUST ANYONE  
JUDE: THEY WERE ALWAYS FOR PEOPLE WHO HAD A SORT OF SIGNIFICANCE IN HER LIFE  
JUDE: CLOSE FRIENDS, ESTRANGED FAMILY, OR POSSIBLE LOVERS.  
JUDE: IT’S ALL CONNECTED JOEY!  
JUDE: WE DO SHARE SOME PHYSICAL TRAITS WITH MR. ENGLISH.

You take a moment to process what Jude just suggested. How in the world could you possibly share any sort of physical attribute with the likes of Jake freaking English, the immortal being co-responsible for the creation of your planet? The thought of having anything in common with the man never crossed your mind. You have no ill will against him. Based on how he presents himself on tv, he seems to be a nice guy over all, if not a bit shameless and slutty. He just seems so………geeky. Sure you have your nerdy side too, but not to the extent

You then look at your brother. You study him from his dorky glasses to his plaid pants and giant belt buckle. You do see some similarities between him and Mr. English. The glasses, the hair, and overall character traits do match in a way. Maybe Jude is your half brother or something, because there is no possible way that you and Mr. English are swimming in the same gene pool. You and Jude never really had much in common to begin with. It wouldn’t be outlandish if you guys didn’t share the same father. Then again, you don’t want to suspect mom of such uncouth behavior. She was way classier than that.

JOEY: Jude, even if he was our father, what do you plan to even do with that information  
JOEY: We can’t just walk up to him and say “Hey guess what? We’re your kids, please drop everything you are doing and raise us"  
JUDE: THAT’S NOT WHAT I PLAN TO DO.

Jude’s tone suddenly changes. His eyes fall to the ground, avoiding eye contact.

JUDE: JOEY, DO YOU EVER FEEL LIKE IMPENDING DOOM IS UPON US?  
JOEY: ummmm, no, why do you ask?  
JUDE: WELL…

He starts shuffling his feet awkwardly against the floor. He almost looks guilty. He kind of reminds you of those videos you’ve seen of owner’s video taping their dogs being caught doing something they shouldn’t be doing. He decides to take a seat across from you at the table. The custodian places pancakes in front of him as well.

JUDE: I’VE BEEN HAVING THESE…..DREAMS.  
JUDE: THEY WOULD BE DIFFERENT, BUT AT THE SAME TIME VERY SIMILAR.  
JUDE: IT’S HARD TO EXPLAIN.  
JUDE: BUT EACH DREAM ALWAYS INVOLVED OUR HOUSE BEING SPLIT IN TWO AND DISAPPEARING INTO VOID  


Wow, that was unexpected. Jude usually never confides in you with these kinds of things. Besides discovering the identity of your father, he usually keeps all his conspiracies and theories to himself. You’re not really complaining about being left in the dark with his conspiracies though. You can live without them. However, this doesn’t sound like one of Jude’s cracked up myths. You don’t know why, it’s just a feeling you have.

JOEY: But, what does that have to do with who our father is?  
JUDE: I FEEL LIKE OUR FATHER HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THIS FUTURE DISASTER  
JOEY: How do you know that?  
JUDE: UMMM, NOT SURE YET, IT’S JUST A NAGGING FEELING I HAVE.  
JUDE: IT’S VERY RARE FOR ME TO BE WRONG ABOUT SUCH THINGS JOEY.

He’s not wrong. There was one time when you were both walking to school; Jude had a bad feeling the whole time, and he didn’t hesitate to express it the whole way there. He kept going on about how “we shouldn’t walk on the sidewalk.” You kept telling him how stupid that sounds and how he should stop acting like such a paranoid freak all the time. That was about the time a car decided to swerve off the road, onto the sidewalk, and head in your direction. Somehow, Jude saw it coming a mile away and pushed you off the sidewalk, also leaving him with enough time to get out of the way as well. Needless to say, from then on whenever Jude had a bad feeling of the future, you made sure to take it into consideration. Of course, no other events where Jude basically predicted the future were ever that serious.

JOEY: I kind of know what you mean.  
JOEY: I also had a weird dream last night.  
JOEY: I can’t remember what it was about though  
JOEY: I think I was talking to someone, I don’t know, I’m a bit hazy on the details  
JOEY: Listen Jude, I know that times have been tough lately, and I’ve been a bit of a jerk to you  
JOEY: I’m sorry for that.  
JUDE:JOEY, IT’S OK, YOU’RE MY SISTER, SIBLING BELITTLE IS PAR FOR THE COURSE.  
JUDE: THAT ISN’T THE ISSUE RIGHT NOW.  
JOEY: Jude, dreams aren’t real, you’ve said so yourself.  
JOEY: they are just manifestations of images, thoughts, and ideas when we are asleep.  
JOEY: Are you pulling those all nighters again?  
JUDE: BUT I…..UGH, YES.  
JOEY: Well then there you go, you’re just tired is all.  
JOEY: Make sure you actually sleep tonight and not watch those crazy shows before bed.  
JUDE: THE X-FILES IS NOT A CRAZY SHOW  
JUDE: IT IS PART OF OUR HISTORY AND OUR GREATEST TOOL TO THE MYTHOS OF OUR PAST UNIVERSE.  
JOEY: Ok ok sorry I said anything.  
JUDE: I…..WILL DO AS YOU SAY JOEY  
JUDE: HOWEVER, IF THESE DREAMS PERSIST WE MUST PREPARE.  
JOEY: Deal.  
JOEY: Besides, it would probably take something as big as a black hole to split our house like that

What you didn’t know though was that two black holes were already starting to form outside your house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if the word allignment looks weird, I'm having trouble with Word for some reason. I'll try to have it fixed for future chapters. Plus coding in color and lining up text takes FOREVER.
> 
> I also changed the color text for Joey so you guys could see the text better. If it still needs adjusting let me know.
> 
> Once again, any polite criticism on writing and formatting is welcome. This is my first story after all. I'm tired right now so there may be a grammer mistake here and there. Nothing too crazy
> 
> I also considered adding images to the text to sort of give it that homestuck feel, but I think I'm going to save that for later. Maybe whatever I draw with this story will go on tumblr.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	3. Meat, candy, or.....?

What they don’t know is that two black holes are already forming outside their home. they start out small, no bigger than the size of a nickel. never the less, they will expand to twice the size of the home by the time any awareness is made. it will be too late by that time. Both of them will be sucked into the holes’ void. It will happen as the bard of doom had predicted, with the house splitting into two and both siblings separated and entered into their respective sessions of the game. one will be sent to her land, while the other sent to his. They will prepare for the long and laborious journey ahead of them and ascend. whether they will prepare willingly or act in defiance will be up to them. They no longer have a choice. It has been sealed since the moment I created them.  
Of course in order for them to enter, I first needed time to change the nature of the game. It was no simple feat, considering sburbs unorthodox set of rules. However I do believe I have found a loophole. It will not be easy, but they should prevail with guidance.  
I find great adversity with myself to steal their childhoods away from them at such an age, but the prince of heart must be stopped, he has become too aware of himself and has reached a level where no living organism should ever reach. it is a level where all senses are destroyed, minds are broken, empathy and morals are corrupted, and all that is left is a being who believes that right and wrong are subjective, to a certain degree maybe they are subjective, but there is a difference between being lawful and completely lawless. if there is no right or wrong, then everything should be permitted right? then, people once considered friends or family are seen as expendable. he will truly destroy souls further his own agenda. his ultimate self is consuming his true self. a damaged mind destroying a fractured heart. Maybe it was inevitable for him, maybe he was always destined to be a soul in a constant state of unrest and misery.  
the mind and the heart go hand in hand, they are each one half of a pair. one cannot survive without the other. when either one is destroyed or corrupted, the other follows in turn. same with the reverse effect. if one is healed, the other will follow suit as well. when combined, ones true self is unlocked. ultimate does not equal truth, a fact that remains completely foreign to the prince, whose true self has been buried beneath nearly two decades of inner turmoil and a disturbed psyche, it is hidden deep within him, a place where even he can not reach it. he may have control, but he is a fool who has become intoxicated from the power he holds. he will come to a crossroad, where one will lead to rehabilitation and redemption, the other to an eternity of oblivion.  
for the next few hours, the children will continue to live in peace. it will be awhile before the holes complete their growth. rest and relax for now children, because very soon, those luxuries will be stripped from you.

* * *

During the next year after Dirk and Rose’s disappearance, the universe of Earth C fell into complete panic and chaos. The kingdom leaders began to split into two groups. One focused on finding the prince and seer’s location, while the other on keeping the inhabitants of the planet from falling into anarchy. Without Kanaya and Rose to keep the peace between humans and trolls and handle troll reproduction, Dave and Karkat would assume that role. However, Jane would begin the pass laws that would only end in a greater divide between humans and trolls. This divide would soon cause animosity, and result in calculated attacks of terrorism on each side. Kanaya, Jade, and Roxy, left the planet in search of Dirk and Kanaya's missing wife, but they would be gone a very long time from now. As for the page of hope, Jake English……

He could be in a better state of mind. after Dirk had left, leaving Jake with only the faint feel of his lips on his own, he feel into a state of despair. He then turned to trying to find any sort of contentment at the bottom of a bottle. though he would remain unsuccessful in finding any sort of solace with his current conundrum. The conundrum being, what has Jake done to make Dirk up and ditch him like that. Everything seemed to be going well when the universe was in it’s infancy. both jake and dirk had taken on the duty of ruling the consort kingdom with, and continued to have many more adventures, and perhaps rekindling the love you had once lost, so what had changed? Before dirk left he said “I won’t let you break my heart again.” What did he mean by that? Jake thought they were past that already.

>Be Jake English

You are now Jake English. You currently are the sole ruler of the consort kingdom, you love movies, adventure, and find women of a certain popular primary color to be very attractive. However, none of that even matters now. Your best friend/love of your life is gone. Left without a trace. Tonight is the one year universe of his jump off the face of the earth. To celebrate, you decide to head to the closest pub in the city. Of course, you try to stay away from the consort kingdom, it has too many painful memories. Which is why you’ve held residency in the Carapace kingdom. You’ve tried to keep a low profile while staying there. You don’t feel like being bombarded by both fans and haters at the moment, or any moment from now on for that matter. What’s even the point anyway. You’ve already made a complete blubbering gagglepuss fool of yourself on stage in front of everyone, claiming your undying love for your best friend. How in the Devil fucking dicken could life get any worse?

>Get soaked by sudden onset rain

Well isn’t that just fucking the bees knees. It’s official, your luck is complete and total rubbish. At least you’ve already arrived at the pub. You were hoping to arrive there with dry clothes, but whatever. You wring out your clothes a bit before you enter the pub. You may be in a giant depressed slump, but you still want to be a gentleman. When you enter, the carapacian bartender greets you. You take note of the diverse amount of guests. There is a bit of every race in this pub. The Carapace kingdom has always been known to be very welcoming to inhabitants of every kingdom.

>Jake, enter pub

You take a sit at the bar and order your usual. Once you receive your alcoholic beverage, you are reminded of your almost ninety nine percent of the time inebriated friend, Roxy Lalonde. You haven’t spoken to he-..,excuse you- him, for awhile now. In fact, you haven’t spoken to any of your chums for awhile. You know that Jane has attempted to contact you, but honestly, you just don’t feel like speaking to her. You would rather be alone.

>Notice blue dressed beauty sitting next to you

You look to your right and suddenly all thought and breath leaves your body at once. Your eyes are presented with a true vision of beauty. Though she was facing toward the bar and you only saw a side view of her, you could still take in every detail of her. The young lady had thick curly black hair that rested just slightly past her shoulders. Her face gives of a gentle and pleasant aura, with physical features that reminded you of those beautiful women you’ve only seen in movies. Her body was no different. Her body looked as though gods sculpted it. You thought Jane had a gorgeous body, but GADZOOKS looking at this fine specimen puts jane’s body to shame. You mean no offense towards your friend of course, but still. It also didn’t hurt that she was wearing a beautiful dark blue dress with a cerulean scarf draped over her arms.

Shit, she suddenly looks over and notices you’re staring. Play it cool English.

_ANNA: Can I help you with something sir?_  
JAKE: huh?...OH! I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t mean to stare at you that was very ungentlemanly of me  
JAKE: I was just captivated by…  
JAKE: …….  
JAKE: Your dress?  
_ANNA: Oh, I suppose.. _  
_ANNA: I know it’s strange attire to be wearing in such a place._  
_ANNA: You’ll have to excuse me if my outfit comes off scandalous, I just wasn’t in a hurry to change my clothes after work._  
JAKE: N-no! your outfit is not scandalous at all!  
JAKE: It’s actually quite refreshing to see.  
JAKE: It’s so….blue….and pretty. I’m not going to lie, it’s making me sweat bullets.  
_ANNA: Umm..._  
JAKE: OH GREAT CHEESE AND FUCKING CRACKERS I’M SOO SORRY I DIDN’T MEAN TO COME OFF AS A BRIAZEN CREEP.  
JAKE: I just meant that blue is a very pretty color and it’s one of my favorite colors. NOT that you wouldn’t look pretty without it you’d actually look quite gorgeous without that dress on. JAKE: I meant you’d probably look gorgeous in anything you wear not that you’d look gorgeous naked, I mean you probably would look amazing naked and OH MY GOD I need to stop talking. _ANNA: pff hahaha you are quite the charmer it seems. I do believe I am “getting the vapors.”_  
_ANNA: Teehee you can untense your shoulders, I’m just a human, not some goddess to be worshipped and offered sacrafices._  
JAKE: Oh right........good point, I’m sorry Miss…..?  
JAKE: Or is it Mrs..?  
_ANNA: You can call me Miss Anna Claire for now, and what of your name good sir?_

_ _ You are then brought back to reality, where you are currently a God trying to lay low and not cause a ruckus. If Miss Claire were to know it could cause a scene. Then again, you don’t think you have it yourself to lie to her. Something about her just makes you feel……comfortable._ _

JAKE: I’m Jake English  
_ ANNA: Oh! I thought you looked familiar, you’re the same Jake English who assisted in creating the universe that we live in today, as well as the current owner and founder of SNE. It’s very nice to meet you _  
JAKE:……  
_ ANNA: Umm, your giving me quite the queer look there, is there something the matter with what I’ve said?  _  
_ ANNA: I sincerely hope I haven’t offended you in any way, I’m terribly sorry.  _  
_ ANNA: Sometimes I can get a bit rambly and say discourteous things sometimes, just know that it is not my intention to fan flames of any inner turmoil you may be feeling at the moment. _  
JAKE: N-N-No! I’m sorry, I’m not offended by your outfit.  
JAKE: You just….caught me off guard is all.  
_ ANNA: Pardon? _  
JAKE: Sorry, I mean that I haven’t met too many people who don’t immediately make a scene when I am in a 10 mile radius.  
JAKE: Sometimes They’ll react like “Great frogs of frost, it’s Jake English of Skia net Enterprises, I do say his bum looks even more attractive in person than it does on T.V. I do say I hope I’m next in line to jostle his trousers”  
JAKE: Other times it’s “Oh Bullocks it’s that Jake English slut, I wonder whose bed he is keeping warm this time.”  
_ ANNA: Oh no no no, I’d never show such disrespect like that! _  
_ ANNA: Your private life is no one else's business but yours. _  
_ ANNA: I can't say I haven't heard a lot about you Mr. English, but I’ve never really gone so far as to consider myself a fan, but I certainly hold no resentment or disgust towards you. _  
_ ANNA: I find being judgmental towards others to be somewhat tactless.  _  
_ ANNA: It doesn’t exactly hold any meaning when you yourself also have your own flaws. _  
_ ANNA: So don’t worry, your whereabouts at this very moment will not be discovered by anyone, I promise. _  
_ ANNA: I can’t imagine you wanting any sort of attention, negative or positive, especially given how much you’ve been grieving over….well. _  
JAKE: Oh……Yeah.

You suddenly are reminded why you even made this trek to the pub in the first place. the reminder that your best friend and love of your life ditched you was like a slap to the face with a honey baked ham. You actually had forgotten about Dirk’s existence for a minute. It’s a good thing that ham of reality never fucking lets you down in reminding you of it’s cruelty, and meatiness. Still, Anna’s presence is actually very comforting considering the circumstances.

_ ANNA: Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry, there I went sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. _  
JAKE: It’s quite alright, I reckon everyone on the gods damned planet is aware of Dirk and I’s complete and total clusterfuckery of a relationship.  
_ ANNA: Well, If you do not want to talk about it I understand, but if you do feel a need to get all your feelings off your chest, I’d be willing to lend you my ear for a bit.  
ANNA: That is only if you are comfortable Sir English. _

For the first time in over a year, you actually find yourself smiling.

* * *

It didn’t take long for the page to fall in love with her. i created her to be a near perfect romantic partner for him. through years of studying the logistics of human courtship and heritage, I was able to accumulate a being through the combined characteristics of every human, even troll, that jake found desirable. thus, Anna Claire was born. I created her through the combined personalities of jake and his friends, while also making her physical form visually pleasing. I gave her jake’s sense of adventure, jane’s sassy attitude, roxy’s compassion, and even a bit of aranea's physical traits. I left dirk out of the equation for obvious reasons. I had to remove any undesirable personality traits, but also leave room for flaws to keep her relatable on a mortal level with jake. once she was created, I needed to put her to the test. what better way to do that then to send her to earth in it’s beta years. once courted by the pre scratch jake, she then birthed the keys to ending this narrative control madness once and for all. It is no exaggeration to say I was shocked when joey and jude entered the picture. Upon seeing them, it all became so clear.  
It was them, the ones who were destined to save the world. The prophecy stated that jake and jane would be married and birth two children. In it’s vague message, it ignored the possibility of another version of jane existing to fulfill that promise. I did create her after all using some of jane’s personality traits. It is not beyond the imagination to call Anna a clone of all the alpha humans, jane included. The condesce did not take into account that one finds their destiny while on the path to avoid it. I won’t go into too much detail for how exactly they will save their world, that world’s salvation is not high on priority list. It is earth c’s future that is of extreme significance. John and jade are in no condition to save this universe, that leaves our only other two clandestine heroes.  
Unfortunately, once she entered into the world, I could not just take anna out of her universe without consequence. She unfortunately had to perish in order for her to be birthed in earth c. Though I loathed doing so, I stooped to the prince’s level of reality manipulation. jake could not afford to stay and raise the children; he played a crucial role in setting the events of jade's story into motion. I had no choice but to make him distant and uncaring towards them. It wasn’t too hard of a task, considering how much he felt the need to forget that Anna ever existed.  
With Anna’s soul in hand, I successfully transferred her to earth c. I must now bide my time and wait for the day that anna and jake conceive a child. Only then will I know if my plan worked. I only hope that jake being his post scratch self does not affect anything.  
ensuring joey and jude’s existing on earth c was not my only reasoning for creating anna. I feel that jake deserved to have some happiness, at least for a short time. watching their romance blossom on b1 was truly something to behold. I had never seen such a healthy relationship before. If anyone was deserving of a healthy relationship, it was the page of hope.  
You think I don’t see the bullshit your writing here?  
considering the complete abomination that was his last relationship  
Oh fuck you.  
jake deserved the love of someone who would truly care for his feelings and treat him with the respect he was deprived of by his past lover.  
This is complete fucking horseshit. I know I was clingy and it caused our relationship to fall apart, I’m over that, but It was him who didn’t respect me afterwards, he knew I still had feelings for him, and what does he about it? NOTHING  
He was treated like a piece of meat that was passed around the dinner table for everyone to take a bite from.  
He was the one who decided to display his ass to anyone and everyone, I was left feeling like shit.  
Despite his poor life choices, jake deserves to be happy with someone who loves him and vice versa, without influence from a scorned past fling.  
Who are you to judge me on how I should run my love life? Last I checked you were a race that needed to copulate by having angry, violent snake sex in the middle of fucking space, you can’t get any more unromantic than that.  
this is my final gift to jake, I do hope he enjoys it, because unfortunately it will not last. earth c anna must also perish as well. If she were to live and raise the children, she would undoubtedly pacify them to the point where they would not have the mental strength to enter their session. I do however promise that no matter what may transpire, joey and jude will be greatly rewarded for their efforts, and for the grief that this will cause.  
That’ll be fucking gold “Hey Joey and Jude, sorry for killing your mom and making you enter this crazy videogame so you can stop this completely delusional god from destroying our universe to create his own, would you like meat or candy for your reward?”  
I’ve recently discovered that meat and candy are somewhat unhealthy for young growing children.

Perhaps some healthy _Vegetables_ will be a better reward. hypothetically speaking of course.

Oh fanfucking tastic, a vegetable route, this should be good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is really not easy to write for characters like dirk and calliope. I swear those two are like walking thesauruses.
> 
> If there actually turns out to be a vegetable route or something like that then I'm gonna laugh.
> 
> Anywho, sorry this took so long, coding is a bitch. I've also been doing character research so I can do these characters justice. I can't even really figure out alternate calliope's typing quirk. oh well.
> 
> Hopefully the next one won't take as long, feel free to point out any errors be it grammatical or character depiction. 
> 
> Thanks for reading
> 
> P.S. I decided to name the mom Anna, for simplicity reasons. it's kind of akward to call someone by their last name constantly.


	4. Now be this douchebag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's meet Dammek, get a feel for what this guy's all about.

>Be Dammek Maroka

  
  


Your name is Dammek Maroka. You are a resident in the troll kingdom of earth C. You are one of four founders of the rebellion against the bucktooth hornless heiress, as well as founder of the band Grubbles. Your hobbies include building hi tech security for your home, having your “morail” Xefros reenact scenes from both of your favorite movies, and collecting guns. Lots and lots of guns. You can never have too many guns. Having a gun in every corner of your hive and on your person is always being one step ahead of any possible assassins. If only you could learn to aim straight. It’s hard to hit a non moving target when your gun sprays bullets like and water spitter.

>Dammek, armor up like a badass

You grab a gun for every article of clothing you are currently wearing. One for your shoes, shirt, pants, belt. You always make it a habit to carry as many guns as you can whenever you exit your hive. The hornless heiress has almost turned the entirety of the troll kingdom upside down to try and find your rebellion army. Too bad she’ll never find them. You’ve trained your army for sweeps to be cold, sneaky, and remorseless assassins.

  
  


>Examine presidential poster of Karkat Vantas

  
  


That election was completely rigged. You honestly don’t understand how more than half the world thought that the hornless human Jane Crocker was a suitable candidate for presidency. How much longer will it take for the world to wake up and realize that it needs actual leadership? Karkat Vantas has the right ideas. You don’t agree with everything he proposes, like letting the humans continue to live out their cushy lives, and just giving trolls more free reign in their society. You’d love to give the humans a taste of their own medicine, take away their rights to breed for a bit, subjugate them the same way they’ve done to trolls for generations. Some kind of justice for troll kind would be appreciated. Of course there are some idiots that think your frame of mind is “racist” and “xenophobic” but they fail to understand that only humans can be racist. Trolls have never been in a position of power to be racist. The only one in power right now is the president. Who just so happens to be human. The only reason she won the election was because everyone was too afraid to have a troll for president. If that isn’t racist, you don’t know what is.

  
  


>Examine video game poster 

  
  


You didn’t spend half the snow season playing those human “Assassin’s Creed” video games for nothing. Though, you prefer to call it “secret society of hidden mercenaries cleansing the world of corrupt leaders.” You’ve always made a note to use your people’s ancient ways of titles and terminology to stick it to that bucktoothed tyrant. You refuse to conform to human ways of speech. You despise humans with a burning passion, but their movies and video games do contain valuable information. Information that could be useful to use against the oppressive government. A government that will come to an end soon though. The other Tetrarchs have claimed that they are close to hacking skia net and receiving copies of the game “sgrub.” With the game in hand, you and your army will enter the game and use it to create a world where all trolls can live without oppresion. Only trolls, carapacians, and consorts that you and the other tetrarchs deem worthy will be allowed to assist in paving the way to a new society in sgrub. The rest will be left to die from the meteors. 

>Grab your BBB and vet kit.

You grab your BBB, also known as your_ Big Book of Beasts _. You remember finding this book way in the back of that library that the creator human rose insisted on building. It’s not like you were in the library to read or anything. You were only there to....burn books. That’s it, you were burning books. Because you’re a rebel. You just happened to find this book and figured it was one of the only useful things preserved from the Pre Scratch era. Apparently it contains information about an ancient species of beasts who lived on Alternia. They were considered parental guardians back then. As opposed to the jade bloods who Kanaya put in charge of raising troll youth. You don’t know why they didn’t try to bring back these beasts with them when they created this universe. Being raised by an animal would be badass. There are some traditions that the trolls had back on alternia that you could live without. Like the dreaded hemospectrum, and tyrannical fuschia blooded leader, and lowblood subjugation, but having awesome beasts as parents is one tradition that you would definitely be down for. Besides, animals are way cooler than both humans and trolls combined. They are way too good for this world, which is another reason to create a new world. You’ll be damned if you let any magnificent creatures be subjected to this worlds cruelty any longer. 

You then remember the time you were incognito in the human kingdom and attended one of those “fighting rings” where people pitted barkbeasts against each other for their own sick entertainment.

>Dammek, read news article about fighting ring massacre

_ BREAKING NEWS, 20 FOUND DEAD, 5 SEVERLY INJURED, MAULED BY ESCAPED DOGS IN A FIGHTING RING. _

_ On the 17th of September, police responded to a call about a disturbance in an abandoned building located in Cagetown of the Human Kingdom. When units arrived, they discovered nearly all residents in the building were completely slaughtered, with only a few survivors. One officer described the scene as “something out of a horror movie.” Witnesses admitted to the building being known for holding dog fighting events. Only one survivor had enough coherence to explain what had occurred that night. According to said survivor, dogs that were being prepped to enter the ring turned on their handlers and killed them. Some dogs even escaped from their cages and chains and went for attendees to the event. After the attacks, all the dogs escaped, leaving police puzzled as to where they could have gone. Even when the entire area was scanned for any sign of the dogs, no clues were found. The Mayor of Cagetown released an announcement regarding the incident. _

_ “We are doing everything in our power to locate the dogs and to humanely dispose of them. Residences are warned to not stay out past dark, and if they spot any signs of dogs in the area, they are to immediately contact the proper authorities. Do not make contact. These dogs now have a taste for blood and are considered a major threat.” _

  
  


You hung this article on the wall as a fond reminder of the time you freed those barkbeasts from their chains. You are always thankful of your ability to commune with the beasts of this planet. Of course, you had to make sure you weren’t detected when you loosened the bolts on the barkbeast cages. It wasn’t that hard, considering you’ve mastered the art of working in the shadows. Once they were released, you gave them the word to do whatever they wanted with their tormentors. You only asked them to wait until you were out of the building. Not because the sight of blood disturbs you or anything, you just didn’t want to ruin your good sweater is all.

You remember the human kingdom going into a frenzy about the loose barkbeasts. They were all so freaked out and worried that the barkbeasts would strike again. You knew that wouldn’t happen, the barkbeasts were safe in the troll kingdom with you. They are free to come and go as they please and have free roam around the troll kingdom. You gave them the freedom that those filthy hornless bastards didn’t even consider giving them.

>Dammek, Exit Hive

Alright, enough reminiscing past victories. You’ve got to go touch base with your morail. Sure, You’ve got security cameras all over his hive, and you could always message him, but meeting in person certainly makes you feel more secure. You wouldn’t forgive yourself if you compromised Xefros’ well being, or “agent x” as you call him when implementing code names. He can be very high maintenance sometimes. You care for him, you really do, he’s your morail after all, but his ignorance and stupidity drive you up the wall sometimes. 

You step carefully over your gun piles and dirty laundry and make your way to the front door of your hive. After going through all three security doors, you finally get to the main exit and begin making your way toward Xefros’ hive.

>Enter Xefros’ Hive

You enter Xefros’ hive, through the back door of course. The front door is too exposed. You don’t want to risk being seen by any eyes that could possibly be working for the hornless heiress.

You Look in the living room but you find it empty, you then decide he must be upstairs in his room. You make your way up the stairs and through the hallway toward Xefros’ room. You began to hear muffled music coming from the other side of his door. Despite the sound being muffled, you could make out the beat and some of the lyrics of the song. No. No fucking way is he listening to….

>Kick that fucking door in

You kick that fucking door in, only to find your greatest fear had now been realized once the music hit your sound ducts and you come across the sight of Xefros quietly lipsyncing the lyrics to that horrid song “shape of you” while his attention was focused on vaccuuming. 

**DAMMEK: what the ꟻuck are you listneing to?**

Xefros whips around to face you with a shocked look, dropping the little handheld vacuum as if it were on fire

**XEFROS: dammek?!! i didn’t know you were coming to visit, i’m soo sorry, i was just cleaning up my room a little bit and was lisXing to the radio and i know how much you hate this song and don’t want me to hear it and i’m sorry, the radio was on and it turned to this song and i was just-**  
DAMMEK: ok First oꟻF, code names, secondly, how many times do i have to tell you that human music is nothing but their way oꟻ pushing there pathetic romantic and ideelogical agenda onto troll society to better conForm us to there own culture.  
** DAMMEK: that stupid “shape oꟻ you” song is a prime example oF music that you shouldn’t be listening to. **  
**XEFROS: I’m sorry Dammek, crap, i meant tetrarch! X:(**

You take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of your nose. Xefros is such a simple and innocent creature that it almost makes it impossible for you to be mad at him. It’s been like this ever since you met him. You’ve learned that Xefros requires a bit more patience than the average troll. Don’t lose your cool just yet tetrarch.

**DAMMEK: look, agent x. I don’t mean to be an asshole, but your complete ignorence to these simple facts piss me oꟻF.**  
**DAMMEK: I don’t just say these things ꟻor shits and giggles. You know what we’re rebelling For right?**  
**XEFROS: umm…...world domination?**  
**DAMMEK: wha-? NO, it’s ꟻor Freedom of cultural expressoin**  
**DAMMEK: we are ꟻinally going to Free ourselves ꟻrom the humans’ supressing our culture and constant villianizing.**  
**DAMMEK: we are not second class citizens and we should have the same rights as any human has.**  
**DAMMEK: For them to try and control how we reproduce and live our lives is complete hooꟻbeast shit**  
**XEFROS: i’m still kind of confused as to why we call them beasts and not animals.**  
**DAMMEK: BECAUSE it is a Form of protest against that hornless bitch oꟻ a president and lets all of those pasty skinned tyrants know that we still hold on to our cultural identitty.**  
**XEFROS: oh right!! Sorry tetrarch**  
**DAMMEK: anyway, iF the humans don’t want to accept our cultur, then we won’t accept there’s, a gander bulb ꟻor a gander bulb.**<  
**XEFROS: oh ok, that makes sense X:/**  
**DAMMEK: agent x, i know you’re not the brightest troll around, but it shouldn’t be too hard to remember such important details.**  
**XEFROS: i know, i’m sorry, i’ll be sure to remember next time.**  
**DAMMEK: do you know though?**  
**DAMMEK: having to constantly remind you almost every day is tiring dude.**  
**XEFROS: X:(**  
**DAMMEK: *sigh* ok let’s just move on and continue.**  
**DAMMEK: time for the daily hive inspection.**  
**XEFROS: ok….**

You then begin the daily hive inspection. Said sweep consists of checking every corner of Xefros’ hive to make sure there isn’t any hidden recorders or tapes planted by spies in order to gain information from him. You check the respiteblock, the ablutiontrap, the recuperacoon. Pretty much every area and every piece of furniture is thoroughly searched for any sort of unusual and possibly threatening items.

Your search led the both you to Xefros’ rumpus room. While looking through some boxes containing arena stickball figurines, an item of memorable significance catches your eye. It’s a small plastic toy sphere used for activities like catch and fetch. The ball is covered in red and green stripes, with a small scribbled signature on the bottom of it, the first 2 letters are legible, but the rest of the writing is smudged and faded due to age. The memory that the item stimulates is not a happy one. 

** DAMMEK: xeF…...What is this? **

You hold up the ball in Xefros’ line of view. He turns away from the sopor stuffed bean bag chair he was currently looking under to face you. His eyes widen with what could only be described as dread.

** XEFROS: ummm, i-it’s a ball, i was looking through some of my old toys when we were grubs, and I found that old ball **  
** XEFROS: You remember that ball right? It was the same ball that belonged to that human we used to play with. i can't remember their name though, it started with a j i think- **  
** DAMMEK: shut up!! Don’t waste another think pan cell on that…….thing! **  
** XEFROS: what? **

So much for keeping your cool Maroka

** DAMMEK: don’t ever mention that person ever again!  **  
** DAMMEK: ꟻorget everything even remotley related to them, they are nothing but a Foolish memory oꟻ when we decided to be complete dumbasses and let ourselves assocaite with those hornless load gaper divers. **  
** XEFROS: but...they were so nice… **  
** DAMMEK: wake up xeFros!! do you honestly think that human child, not just them,but any human, would care about us?!  **  
** DAMMEK: we are nothing!! they see us as nothing but wastes oF oxygen that they have the misꟻortune of sharing this planet with. **  
** DAMMEK: some may try to act like they care, they act like they’ll be your best Friend, but then once they realize how diꟻFerent you are ꟻrom them, they’ll throw you away like moldy grubloaF. **  
** DAMMEK: that’s what that little human did to us xeꟻ, they decided they were too good to be Friends with us, so they decided to go be with their own kind, that’s how it should be! humans and trolls were never meant to share a planet! **  
** DAMMEK: that’s how it always has been, and that’s how it’s going to be once we get start our session oꟻ sgrub and lead our people to a new era. **

You grip the little spherical toy of mental torture in your hands. You dig your claws into the ball, letting the air deflate from it. If only there were such a thing as memory erasing devices, you could get rid of these awful memories. Xefros looks at you with a teary eyed and terrified look. You know you’ve gone too far. You know you’ve crushed him, but he needed a wake up call.

You drop the deflated remains of the ball to the ground, stomping on it lightly. You let out a loud sigh while you walk out of Xefros’ room

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY crap, finally, after some writers block and distractions, I've FINALLY posted another chapter. I'm still trying to work out the kinks to this story. I'm sorry it's taking so long. I'm also trying to focus on college too so I'm not going to be popping out another chapter for at least another month. I hope. Despite the slow update rate, I still refuse to abandon this fanfic. I plan on seeing it through to the end.
> 
> Also, if you see some spelling and grammar errors with Dammek, that's actually intentional. There is proof in Hiveswap act 1 that Dammek is illiterate. so ya, backwards Fs aren't going to be the only part of his typing quirk.
> 
> Feel free to give feedback and constructive criticism. It's always helpful.


End file.
